My writing will be probably be abnormal – maybe strange to some – and will most likely be lacking in grammar, but will always be myself. If any of this sounds like it may bother or not interest you, then do us both a favor and stop now. I do not want the negativity because I have started the process of getting rid of those burdens in my life and mind. My writing will be like a living diary, tapping into a portion of brain and memory that for most goes untouched: like the dust that gathers on top of a giant bookshelf that someone with vertigo has neglected to clean, as that would require them to face their fears, their “inner demons,” for lack of better words. Well I am not scared anymore. The demons have no more control over me and I am on the top of the ladder with the dusting spray; however, my weapon of choice are my words. It’s spring cleaning time bitches and if you are willing to read this than I have no problem sharing my life with you; for my life is an open book and I have kicked the last skeleton out.
It will be a daily thing every day once I get my things done that I need to get done. I will sit down and write about my life starting from my past, and working to where I am now. I am not sure how long this will take and it probably will not make sense or may confuse you, but at the end of this we will all have some closure and understanding because for you this is just something that you are reading. Call it a book or a novel, maybe poetry, sometimes a song… call it what you will but at the end of the day, it is my life; my memories – some real, some embellished – leave it to your imagination for that is all we are right, storytellers?
I will be changing my name to protect myself along with everyone else in my life. While it may seem like a story to some, understand this it is all real and really did to the best of my knowledge take place. From this point on I will be going as Elmer. I have chosen the name Elmer because once when I was a child I decided that I would tell everyone that that was my name. Not because I did not like my name or was I trying to live another life, but for some reason that is just what felt “right”. The name Elmer is not something I pulled out of my ass or discovered on a cartoon as a child; for Elmer was the dog that I received as a pet on my first birthday. I will cover that story later as it comes up. Right now I just want to set you all up and help you understand what you will be reading so than I am able to start this journey, and for lack of better words, begin cleaning out my closet. If ever you feel lost or confused, feel free to send a comment and I will be more than willing to catch you up.
I also want to thank all of you for reading. I know how busy life can be out there, but if you can put your lives aside and take a few moments each day to read, I think you will be pleased and might find yourself beginning to like what you read, and you may even learn some things about your self or spark some memories that have gone untouched for quit some time. So without rambling any further I think I am going to begin, and there is no better place to start than from the beginning.
He told me I should write. I already know what you are thinking and no, it is not god or some higher power or even the voices in my head; I haven’t succumbed to that bullshit…. I will get to all that fucked up nonsense later in my writing. So who is he, you ask?… He is the man I love the man, and the man that loves me; who has torn the jaded layers of singed wrapping paper that have protected my tortured soul and broken heart and mind for so many years. We will leave it at that. I am sure you are asking yourselves if “he” is so important, why can I not give him a name; why would I refer to him as something so miniscule as the term “he”,? but I am going to call him “he” to protect his identity, because even to this day I live in fear that he will be taken from me. It sounds crazy I know, but by the end of this you will hopefully have a better understanding of me and the fears and demons that lye within my head. tTogether we will battle them; for they have no control over me any more. What you are about to read may not make sense or may come across as strange, or twisted, or probably even a little weird; but when you stop and think about it, is that not what we all are… a little strange and twisted?, Bbut that is what makes us, us. Throughout my writing, I will be willing to take criticism and advice because with age that is what I have realized helps us as individuals grow. and I will be doing my best to responded as I feel necessary,; I need you to understand that there are no “right” or “wrong” things that can be said because they are all just thoughts and stories in my head just…head. They’re opinions; and from my understanding,s society is so quick to judge and put down, but not to me anymore. because I will not take the negativity; for I have done that for so long.
My writing will be probably be abnormal - maybe to some strange to some - and will most likely be lacking in grammar, but will always be myself. If any of this sounds like it may bother or not interest you, then do us both a favor and stop now. because I do not want the negativity in my life because I have started the process of getting rid of those burdens in my life and mind. My writing will be like a living diary, tapping into a portion of brain and memory that for most goes untouched:, like the dust that gathers on top of a giant bookshelf that someone with vertigo has neglected to clean, because as that would require them to face their fears, their “inner demons,” for lack of better words. Well I am not scared anymore. Tthe demons have no more control over me and I am on the top of the ladder with the dusting spray; however, my y… Wweapon of choice; are my words. It’s spring cleaning time bitches and if you are willing to read this than I have no problem sharing my life with you; for my life is an open book and I have kicked the last Skeleton skeleton out.
It will be a daily thing every day once I get my things done that I need to get done. I will sit down and write about my life starting from my past, and working to where I am now.… I am not sure how long this will take and it probably will not make sense or may confuse you, but at the end of this we will all of have some closure and understanding because for you this is just something that you are reading. Ccall it a book or a novel, maybe poetry, sometimes a song… call it what you will but at the end of the day, it is my life;, my memories, – some real, some embellished - leave it to your imagination for that is all we are right,… storytellers?
I will be changing my name to protect myself along with everyone else in my life., because my life While it may seem like a story to some, but understand this it is all real and really did to the best of my knowledge take place. From this point on I will be going as Elmer. I have chosen the name Elmer because once when I was a child I decided that I would tell everyone that that was my name., nNot because I did not like my name or was I trying to live another life, but for some reason that is just what felt… “Right “right”. The name Elmer is not something I pulled out of my ass or discovered on a cartoon as a child, ; for Elmer was the dog that I received as a pet on my first birthday. I will cover that story later as it comes up. Right now I just want to set you all up and help you understand what you will be reading so than I am able to start this journey, for and for lack of better words, begin cleaning out my closet. If ever you feel lost or confused, feel free to send a comment and I will be more than willing to catch you up.
I also want to thank all of you for reading., I know how busy life can be out there, but if you can put your lives aside and take a few moments each day to read, I think you will be pleased and might find yourself beginning to like what you read, and you may even learn some things about your self or spark some memories that have gone untouched for quit some time. So without rambling any further I think I am going to begin, and there is no better place to start than from the beginning.
